It's with a heavy heart that I resume posts to this blog, after several weeks of letting the daily busyness of life get in the way of my updates.
On the 4th of July our white lab, Einstein passed away. He was Ryder's best friend. It's been tough on the whole family, especially our Anatolian Shepperd Potter who was Einstein's ever-present side kick. Einstein was our family's first dog - and our first real pet. I was not prepared for the sadness I feel after loosing him so abruptly. I cry openly, even as I type this post.
Harder still was having to wait until morning to share the sad news with our boys. I laid in bed all night awake, going over and over in my head how I would tell Ryder and Landin. I wrote Ryder a letter, which I will put away with his baby book, sharing my feelings, and describing to him (to read as an adult) just how hard it was to tell him the news.
We had gone into town early in the morning on the 4th for a parade and stayed in town late into the evening, swimming at the lake and barbecuing lunch and dinner. At 10pm the fireworks started, and it took us nearly an hour to get home with all the traffic afterwards. When we pulled into the driveway just before midnight, my sister (who had stayed at the house with her kids) met us at the door with the news that Einstein had been hit by a car that night. The Sheriff had come to the house to tell her just an hour earlier. When she saw the sheriff pull up the long dirt driveway that leads to our house she was startled. When he said to her, "There's been an accident." She was terrified it was us the sheriff was there to report about.
When Brice heard the news he cried out. A guttural cry. Einstein was so special to him. When we got Einstein he was just a pup. Landin was afraid of dogs, so Brice set out to find the perfect dog for our family that would help Landin over his fear, and would protect the kids as they played out in the woods behind our house. Einstein was that and so much more.
Brice and I went to pick-up Einstein from the side of the road after we got home, and had put the sleeping kids in bed. Brice was too upset to do anything. He sat in the car while I wrapped Einstein in a blanket. The Sheriff pulled up just as I was ready to lift Einstein (who weighed more than 100 pounds alive) into the car. He lent a hand, and together we moved him. From the looks of his wounds he had been hit from the side and tossed. The cut on his side had been licked clean as had his head and mouth - - his faithful friend Potter must have been with him until the sheriff came to escort him home. Last summer Einstein got an eye infection, and Potter would spend the day licking his eye for him until it was better. That's the kind of friends they were.
Wrapped in a large comforter, we placed Einstein in our barn until morning. Brice and I sat with him for a bit that night, petting his head, thanking him for the protector and playmate he was. In the morning we waited in bed until the kids woke-up. When we told them what had happened Landin wept openly. Ryder pulled the covers over his head and sobbed quietly. We held one another and talked about some of our favorite memories of Einstein. How he used to let Ryder tie him up to all the trees on our property, how he let the kids try to ride him like a horse, how they never could get him to chase a ball - he'd rather lick their faces and shake hands then chase a stick. How he'd step in front of any strangers or other animals that approached the kids, and would run or walk along side them as we ventured out.
Yesterday was the hottest day of the year. It was over 100 degrees. Brice and the boys and I picked out a spot on our property and spent the morning digging a giant hole in the hot sun. Ryder and I made a cross and Landin drew a picture of our family to bury with him. When the hole was ready we moved Einstein, still wrapped in the blanket ,and placed him inside. The kids said their good byes and we talked about what we were thankful for during the time we had with Einstein. Together we filled the hole, and then covered the top with stones we found while digging.
Over the course of the day there were moments where the sadness just welled up inside, sometimes followed by tears, other times by a sigh or a squeeze of someone's hand, or a hug. We took a trip to town in the early evening and as we pulled back into our driveway, and Einstein didn't come running to meet the car there was a dead silence in the car, and I looked to Brice, who had tears that matched mine, and knew we were both feeling the emptiness Einstein had left behind. Ryder asked me, "Is this a dream?" No sweetheart, this is real life. In real life, family pets die, and families move on. We will get another dog, it wouldn't be fair to Potter, who has lost his best friend too, if we didn't.
Last night Ryder came to me and asked if I would print him out some pictures of Einstein that he could hang in his room. I obliged. Looking at those pictures was difficult. Einstein was such a beautiful dog. But it made Ryder feel better to look at them, and to talk about the memories he had from when the photos were taken.
My apologies for the downer blog post. I know people don't come to read this blog to be depressed. But this is my now. I have more updates from the past 6-weeks that I will get up shortly, but for now, I've got Einstein on the mind.
Keep us in your prayers.
did the softball throw, 
and ran in a 4x100 relay.
Only time will tell. 
It was freakin' awesome!!